That's When It All Changed
by babyblue.bfg
Summary: There was something about her. She had that elusive beauty and elegance that Rachel's playboy appearance lacked, yet she had an oomph to her that Peyton's slender, blonde good looks couldn't produce" BL AU
1. Prologue: Two Sides to Every Story

**disclaimer: we don't own any rights to One Tree Hill and this is all for fun and out of boredom.**

hey, this is the first fanfic cowritten by babyd21 and mickeiblue under our joint account babyblue. we hope you enjoy this au fanfic, so please read and review. and feel free to check out our profile for more information on this collaberation.

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**That's When It All Changed**

Prologue: Two Sides to Every Story

_You can choose to blame your circumstances on fate or bad luck or bad choices or you can fight back. Things aren't always going to be fair in the real world, that's just the way it is. But for the most part, you get what you give. The rest of your life is being shaped right now, with the dreams you chase....the choices you make....and the person you decide to be. The rest of your life is a long time, and the rest of your life starts right now…_

~One Tree Hill

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_**Lucas **_

The very air was thick with sex, drugs, and alcohol, so thick with it my whole being felt like it was drenched in oil. Too much beer coursed through my system and the world looked blurry but I had a sudden urge to get away, to suck in fresh air and wash my body. Fumbling my way through the crowd, knocking party goers as I go, I force my way through until I finally step outside where the music is just as loud and the crowd just as packed.

Through the haze of my vision I look up to the night sky twinkling with stars but something else draws me, I'm not sure what so I follow some instinct that tells me to go down the deck onto the beach. I stumble down the steps straight into the arms of a gorgeous blonde. Her curves push against me and hell I am a guy, so I smirk down at her and quickly slur my usual line. I'm not sure it comes out the right way; however, the blonde doesn't seem to mind. She leans in a little closer and giggles something.

In the back of my mind I feel someone staring daggers at me, the hairs on my neck stand up to attention. I turn my head slightly and see Peyton leaning against the other side of the deck right next to the stereo. Her blonde curls glow in the light of the bonfire but her eyes are cold as they watch me. Ignoring her jealousy I look down at the blonde in my arms and lower my mouth close to her ear, "wanna get out of here?"

She freezes, as if trying to decide what to do and then she grabs my hand. It's all too easy. I send Peyton a quick look and a satisfied smile, and then watch as my former girlfriend clenches her jaw before abandoning her drink to storm inside.

The blonde leading me back to the party gives me a coy smile and suddenly I'm no longer interested, it's all too _easy_. What ever happened to a challenge? Changing my mind once we're inside I tell her I'll grab us a drink and for her to wait here. With my conscience clear I escape outside again following the throbbing in my veins, following that instinct from before but this time I'm not interrupted.

My shoes hit the beach and I kick them off and feel the cold grains of soft sand under my feet and between my toes, hands in my khaki pants I walk away from the dancing and the music, towards the beach.

I few people are running around and we share polite smiles, Rachel sends me a wink before going back to her latest conquest. I shake my head at my redheaded friend and remember to ask her if she even bothered to get this ones name.

The further I walk the stronger my heart beats and the faster I move. The music in the background becomes nothing but a faraway buzzing and soon I'm so far away everything is almost black.

The ebony sky is broken by twinkling stars and a full moon affording me a little light, enough to see the crashing of the waves as they hit the shore. A sigh escapes me and my hands bury deeper in my pockets, it fees like I should stop so I do.

For a moment I think I see a flash of movement but I shake my head and it's just an endless strip of sand and ocean stretched out in front of me again.

I can't explain it but something feels different as if while I stand here my world is shifting under my feet, and then I see her.

That flash of movement again but I know I'm not imagining it. She sits alone, her pale feet waiting for the very ends of the waves to tickle them as they make their way slowly to her. Dark hair whips around her face in the breeze but she doesn't seem to notice; she doesn't seem to notice anything and I tilt my head and observe her longer.

Like a siren form the sea calling to me tempting me into her underwater world I can't pull my attention from the mysterious figure, second by second a humming in my blood and heart begins.

Which is foolish. If I told Nathan I thought such rubbish he would hand me another drink before telling me I need to get laid. Maybe I should blame my mood on the alcohol and just drink myself sober.

But what is she doing out here in the middle of nowhere? She isn't from the party if her attire is to tell me anything and I would have noticed her no matter how many people were around.

My siren was a goddess, even with blurred vision and the blanket of night I could still make her out enough to know that especially as I adjusted to the darkness and she came into more focus.

I wonder if her pale skin would be cool or would it burn me to touch.

The music from the party gets louder and suddenly she turns, her eyes snap to me. Can she see me as clearly as I see her? She doesn't seem to but her mouth parts slightly and I can almost imagine her sighing my name and a picture enters my mind. Her legs wrapped around me, that plump mouth gasping my name as her neck arches back exposing her smooth pale throat. I wish I could see her eyes clearly, know what colour they are, and know if they are dilating if she sees me standing here. Then the image is gone and I'm left standing on the beach feeling like I've trespassed on forbidden territory.

Feeling uncomfortable and awkward is not an emotion I am use to. Not knowing what to do I turn away slightly and look out at the ocean and away from the girl.

I would like to think it's my imagination when I feel her attention move away and for a moment I look back towards the party in the distance and when I turn back around she is no longer there.

Regret? Curiosity? Boredom? I am not sure what this feeling is but it's time has passed. I return to the beach house and back to the drinking and dancing until my body has nothing left to give.

With a few farewells I leave, jumping into the driver's seat of the convertible my dad gave me as either another guilt present or an attempt to buy my loyalty, I'm not sure which one it was this time. Throwing that thought away I drive off not caring if I go a little too fast.

The deserted road is long and quiet, so I switch on my IPod and let the music pound the silence away note by note. When the sirens started I am not sure, it was the flashing red and blue lights that finally caught my attention.

Swearing I pull over, already cursing the asshole as he stepped out of his car.

"Do you know how fast you were going?" he asks before he even looks at me and then recognition hits "well, well, Lucas Scott."

"Hi Officer-" I should probably remember his name but I don't so I stop and just grin.

His beady eyes take me in then he flashes his torch into the car, "step out of the car" he instructs and gritting my teeth I do so, slamming the door behind me.

"License."

I open my wallet and he looks at it to me and I already know he's locked onto my birth date, "have you had anything to drink?"

Busted, "don't want to get dehydrated, officer" I smirk.

"Still a smartass."

"Still love the donuts?" I shoot back, "how bout we make a deal, you let me go and-"

"How about you take a breathalyzer and then I decide whether to handcuff you or not."

I'll tell myself later that I should have kept my mouth shut; I should have stopped there but then again I was never really good at seeing a line and not crossing it.

_**Brooke **_

Sitting at the beach in the middle of the night is a ritual for me. I know what you're thinking but before you say anything it's my backyard. Who has the beach as a backyard you ask? Well you usually do if you live in a beach house. That's all besides the point anyways; where was I? Oh yes…the beach, ritual, got it.

It's my getaway. Being able to have the feel of grainy sand between my toes as the water slowly glides up and washes it away; smelling the sweet moist air of the ocean; feeling the swift breeze as I watch the waves crash into the shore; it's a dream, there's nothing like it.

On most nights I come out here to get away from everything, to try and clear my mind of thoughts that I don't want to be thinking about. Most of the time it works but on the rare occasions that it doesn't I have to go to that place that I don't want to, the place that takes me days to get out of.

I quickly shake those thoughts away and stare back out into the ocean.

There's no need for those thoughts right now; especially after my life took a turn for the best. I should be the happiest person in the world right now; I should be jumping up and down, screaming at the top of my lungs for my good fortune; but I'm not. Why is that? I can't even answer that question.

Anyways, on other nights like tonight, I come out here to experience the beach. To be able to watch my surroundings in peace.

That is until the sound of music reaches me, and I can't help but wince at the memory that it brings on.

A party. Can college kids be more predictable?

The thing that most people don't get is that all parties are the same, the outrageously loud music that makes it so you can't here yourself think; the numerous bodies grinding on random people just because; the random fights to prove yourself; the drunken one night stands; the only thing that actually changes from party to party are the locations.

I start to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

Who wants to wake up next to some random face the next morning because you were so wasted that you can't remember anything from the night before? Who wants to be throwing up with a throbbing headache because you drank too much? Who wants to be by people that just say shit behind your back the second you turn around? The irony of it is that I use to be one of those people; that is until I had an epiphany a few years back and realized how stupid it all was.

The music gets louder and I have the sudden urge to turn around. I feel as though someone's watching me but I don't see anyone. That is until I see Haley standing on the porch with her arms across her chest. My mouth gapes open in shock at the realization of what time it must be. I know that I should get my ass in the house but I can't move. It's like I'm under someone's hold and it is so strong that I'm stuck in place. As quickly as that moment came, it went just as fast.

I quickly get up and dart towards the house, preparing myself for the famous Haley lecture.

I walk into the beach house, with Haley step for step behind me, "Brooke what are you doing?" she asks in exasperation.

I turn around in annoyance "If it's that hard for you to grasp, I'll spell it out for you. I'm going to bed."

"Don't be a bitch Brooke. What were you doing outside? I thought I asked you not…"

"Incase you haven't realized Haley your not mom, you're my cousin. You have no right to tell me what I can and can't be doing!" I bite out.

Haley's face falls in pain for a split second until she masks it with anger. "I'm sorry that I'm worried about you! I didn't know that it wasn't allowed!" she shouts, storming past me up the stairs.

I trail right behind her, cursing my self for being such a bitch, "Haley…"

"Save it Brooke, I don't want to hear it" she says, slamming the door in my face.

I guess I'll just have to make it up to her tomorrow.

_**Lucas**_

The holding cell has always reminded me of an asylum or how I imagine one to look, with its white walls and bars and cold exterior with nothing loose or any chance to hurt your self. It's bare, well except for me.

Want to know what is worse than a hangover? Try a hangover in jail.

For the first few hours I paced, then I managed to catch some sleep, and now I sit in the silence waiting for my escape. I could have been out last night if I called my mom but the last time I called my mom from this place she sent me to live with my uncle. It's been nearly four years since then and I like to think I've learnt my lesson.

I stiffen my back as officer friendly walks over, he looks at me disapprovingly but I just smirk as he unlocks the cell and pulls open the gate, "your brother's here."

"Aw, I'm going to miss this place" _not_.

My younger brother, Nathan, waits for me and I can't help but shake my head when I see him leaning one side against the wall as he chats up the only decent looking cop in Tree Hill. Walking by him I mumble, "come on, Romeo" and start to button up my white shirt. Nathan steps in behind me and the minute I'm outside the morning sun burns my eyes, wincing I slide down my sunglasses and lift my face to the sky.

Being sent away from Tree Hill had been a nightmare, and I had resented it for years with memories of my friends and the life I left behind haunting me. The thing is, now that I am back I miss the simplicity of my life with Uncle Keith, most of all I miss the constant sunshine and waking to the beach everyday.

"Dude, your Mom is so gonna kill you" Nathan thumps my back and I'm knocked out of my thoughts. Looking back down I follow him to his car and jump in, chuckling as I respond "not if she doesn't find out."

At twenty you would think it wouldn't matter what my mother thought. Not only can she seriously be scary when the mood takes her but despite it all or how I behave I do genuinely care about what she thinks of me. I love the woman and respect her in my own way.

I just haven't mastered the ability to show my emotions, I keep them buried under the brooding exterior I have perfected as my mask. It's been like this for so long I'm not sure how to change who I am, one day though I hope… I don't know, I guess I just hope to be different, to become something other than a Scott which is near impossible in this town, and sometimes its just easier being and doing what others expect of me instead of breaking the mould.

Soon we're parking outside my mother's café and Nathan is leading the way inside, the moment I walk through the door the aroma of fresh coffee, bacon, and eggs fill my nose. It reminds me of my childhood and the weekends spent here as my mother worked before life distracted me and I chose the river court, my half brother and the popular gang over the lone, quiet existence I'd previously had.

And there they are – my people. I'd missed so much at the end of high school that by the time I returned they were practically strangers, the easy rapport we once had harder to bring to the surface.

Staring intensely at me are the pale green eyes of Peyton Sawyer, my first crush and serious girlfriend. She was many of my firsts but far from my lasts. Unfortunately where I had moved on after leaving Tree Hill, she'd clung to our past relationship or so she lets on. It's hard to picture Peyton staying loyal to me while I was away and it certainly seems she has a line of exes mooning after her. I've tried to get across that, all I'm interested in is friendship yet she remains fixed on our past. Frustrated with the lost look she is sending me, one edged with jealousy and anger, I flit my eyes off her. Reserving my smile for the feisty red head who sits next to Peyton, I try to ignore Peyton's reaction when her flaxen locks fall over her face as she looks down at the table, after all Rachel is all together more fun.

If there was one word to describe her _hot _would be it. She's not gorgeous in the movie star way, there is nothing classical or elegant about her beauty, nor cute. Rachel is steaming, eye sex, don't take her home to your mother hot! She's the type of girl who smiles at you in a sinful way that makes you think of the dirtiest things your imagination can come up with. It gets some taking use to especially when you have no sexual interest in her, which I don't. Rachel is a friend, I am not going to muddy the waters by giving into natural temptation. No matter how deliciously tempting.

"Hi gorgeous, hope you didn't drop the soap" she wiggles her eyebrows and her lip curls up, sliding in across from her I pretend to glare at her but she just smiles and I fight the comeback that instantly comes to mind. Get into a verbal battle with Rachel and it could last for hours and though usually I love the challenge, right now my head is in too much pain.

"Dude, I get it, ha, don't drop the soap, jail, ha" Tim says too loudly and I mentally groan, the girls aren't as quiet. I'm not sure why Nathan lets Tim follow him around like a lost puppy but for as long as I've known Nathan his idiotic sidekick is not far behind. When we don't respond he gets out between laughs, "I bet Luke dropped it on purpose"

"Shut up Tim!" Nathan says curtly and after a little chuckle Tim obediently becomes quiet, still completely unaware how stupid every word that comes out of his mouth sounds. Even if he was to say the exact same thing as one of us it wouldn't come out the same, his stupidity is more in the way he talks and not the actual things he says. For instance he once mistook police officers for strippers and quickly found himself being arrested, not his best night but he smiled the whole time and it conveniently distracted the cops from the underage teenagers loading the keg into the car.

"Gawd" Rachel drones out, sighing loudly. "the service sucks in here" and through the corner of her eyes she gives a pointed look towards the waitress two tables away. Hallee or Hannah or whatever her name is, blushes but continues serving the table she's at. I sort of feel sorry for her as Rachel starts criticizing her appearance, from the bland hairstyle to the comfortable but unattractive shoes.

Peyton manages to join in, her sharp sarcasm causing an even deeper blush to appear on the waitress and when Nathan makes a comment about tapping that if he could turn the lights off; a lone tear falls down her cheek. I finally put a stop to it, "guys, cut it out, I think she got the picture."

Were we always this bad in high school? If I'd been around til the end would I still be catty to the people we deemed not good enough?

The thing is if this was somewhere else I probably would have joined in but my mothers café is my turf, no matter how long we had to wait or mishaps that happen here, this place is my moms and I can't help but feel slightly protective of her staff even if I don't know them personally.

Peyton glares at me, "new girlfriend Luke?" but then she shakes her head and looks back down at the sketch book in her hand.

The waitress, Haley I learn from her nametag as she gets closer, quickly comes to our table when she's available. "Finally" Nathan mumbles and Haley's eyes stay down the whole time she takes our orders and then hurries away.

"Don't trip, Pippy" Rachel yells after her and starts to mock the Haley's hairstyle. I have to admit her imitation is pretty spot on that I chuckle.

It all happens so fast none of us saw it coming, where the brunette came from I don't know but suddenly a strawberry milkshake was landing down Rachel's chest and a red faced girl said in apology "sorry, I must have tripped."

Rachel was fuming but the other girl coolly got up and walked away with such grace that caught my attention. The subtle sway of her jean clad behind had me locked until she took a seat in one of the far booths, flicking her dark shoulder length hair behind her she sat down and started sipping from a glass already waiting at the table.

Nathan and Peyton continue to laugh at Rachel's outrage but I study the other girl, she looks around our age, her skin almost too pale but her cheeks perfectly rosy. There was something about her, she had that elusive beauty and elegance that Rachel's playboy appearance lacked, yet she had an oomph to her that Peyton's slender, blonde good looks couldn't produce.

She looks angry, all her emotions tightly held together but brimming at the surface and my mind flashes back to the hard glint in her dark mossy eyes as she's stood up after she'd tripped, then the way she apologized so sharply with a tone that suggested she was anything but sorry, and then I remembered that graceful walk away, the walk of somebody without a clumsy bone in her body.

Still studying her I'm barely aware that at some point her eyes have shot up and locked onto me, her brow creasing in thought when she notices I am staring at her, but then our eyes meet in an uninterrupted stare.

Something drops inside me, a need I can't explain. I am so focused on this pull that I'm unable to make a sound or move against my friends who have turned their attention to the girl who has me entranced. Their rude comments roll over me, I barely hear the words and then Rachel stands and all I hear is, "I'll show that whore"

Before I know I've straightened up and stopped Rachel, then without a word my feet are moving and I'm going towards the girl.

Her eyes quickly go to the table behind me with Rachel, Nate, Tim, and Peyton, and then she glances at me again before determinedly shifting her back slightly towards my approach and opening the notebook in front of her. The pen in her hand writing in quick decisive movements as her jaw clenches forcing indents to frame her mouth and suddenly I have a compulsion to make her smile so I could see them form dimples.

"Hey" I smile when I finally reach her. In the past all I have to do is say 'hey' in that tone and a girls attention is locked onto me, hanging onto my every word but this one ignores me and continues to write. When I try to peak over her shoulder she slams the notebook shut and looks up, her eyes pierce me with a cold glare and then she flicks it to the hand I rest on the back of her seat, "are you lost?" she bites out and when she looks back up at me she adds on, "the men's bathroom is five metres to your right"

Even as cold as she's pretending to be she's undeniably pretty, and right there and then with no name to match the face I dub her Pretty Girl. It's not highly original however it rolls off the tongue while looking at her.

"I know exactly where I am" I reply and she takes it as a chance to continue to ignore me and look back down but her hand stays protectively above the book and she doesn't move. I move slightly closer "Hi, I'm Lu-"

"Lucas Scott" she cuts in, my name comes out in a husky drawl marked with indifference; "I know" she scoffs.

"We know each other?" I ask confused.

When she looks at me this time there is the slightest bit of humour dancing in her eyes and the hint of a smile, "We only just went to the same school for…oh…ten or so years"

I let out a breath and then chuckle, "well you know big school. I'm sorry our paths never crossed, I wouldn't forget a smile like yours" I'm guessing I wouldn't seeing I haven't seen her smile and its no real surprise she knows who I am if we went to the same school at one point, everyone had known my name.

She kinks her brow, "I sat in front of you the entire sixth grade."

"Oh" I try to think back but my mind draws a blank, so I settle with a, "that was so long ago."

Her brow kinks higher, "two months, sophomore year, English project, ring any bells? No, because Lucas Scott you and your no good group never bother to notice anyone but yourselves, you're heads are so far up your asses I'm surprised you know left from right but let me help you out – your table is thatta way where Dim is fornicating with the salt and pepper shakers" with one last cold stare she turns back to her book.

With limited options I turn around and head back to the table where Rachel and Nathan are laughing their heads off, "oh yeah you so showed her" Rachel murmurs as I sit back down. Tim is nodding his head and looking at me "_rejected_" he laughs and I just shoot at him, "shut up Dim."

"Smooth Lucas but word to the wise, Brooke Davis doesn't give us a second look these days" Peyton whispers but doesn't look up, then she rips the page from her sketch book and hands it to me. A black and white 2D image of my Pretty Girl stares up at me, her eyes an endless tunnel of loss but a wide beautiful grin hides the darker look and the dimples drawn are just as I imagined them.

Brooke Davis. The name is so familiar and then it hits me, _Book_. Puny Brooke Davis or Book Davis as we use to call her, she always had her head in a book, her and that cousin of hers.

The waitress from before walks over to Brooke's table and the two start whispering to each other, then Haley sends a worried look over to us before continuing the heated conversation. As I watch them together more memories of high school pop into my mind, the cousin's name had been Haley and the two of them were always together at the bottom of the high school food chain. I'm starting to figure out why she remembers me so well.

Hell, I've never pretended to be a saint.

_**Brooke**_

'_Somebody told me that this is the place where everything's better and everything's safe.'_

That's the first thing I always look at whenever I enter Karen's café. It's another ritual of mine that I just can't seem to break, one that I don't want to break either. I say the words as I read them on the wall, and I can't help but let a smile form on my lips.

It's the place where me and Haley started to talk again; the place where I found a piece of hope; the place where I got a piece of my mom back.

Karen's the owner of the café, I met her 2 years back. It was around the time when me and Haley started to rebuild our friendship. Whenever I was able to I'd go over to the café during Haley's shift, and distract her. Even though she acted like she was pissed whenever I did it, we had a lot of fun. A little while later I started to talk to Karen.

She wasn't like other owners that always ignored the teenage kids that came into their restaurants or the ones that constantly yelled at them. I'd go in and sit at the counter or one of the booths, usually depending on my mood or whether the place was packed or not; and she'd always come up to me and strike up a conversation.

It brought back a lot of memories that I was trying to forget at the time, because she reminded me so much of my mom. After a while though I realized that it wasn't a bad thing to remember; it was a good thing.

I scan the café to try and find Haley; I don't see her anywhere so I walk over to the farthest booth and sit down. Knowing it will probably be a while before I get to speak to her I take out my notebook and start writing.

It's nothing fascinating, just me documenting things that happen in my everyday life. I started to do it a few years back when I was instructed to do so. I was suppose to write down how my day went, how I was feeling, what I ate for the day…normal stuff like that, boring stuff really. At the time I found it ridiculous, what did that stuff really matter? I knew why, I just didn't want to admit it at the time. I kept on telling myself it was better to live a life that I'd remember, even if I didn't write it down. But after writing a few entries, I found myself writing more and more about things that had nothing to do with what I was suppose to write, and ever since I've kept a notebook to write down that other stuff.

I look up and see a piece of apple pie with a glass of water in front of me. It's not hard to guess who did it. I look over and see Karen wiping down the counter, she smiles at me while I mouth a thank you to her. I smile a tiny smile as I close my notebook and take a bite of the pie. I close my eyes from pure bliss. Amazing is the only word I can come up with to describe it.

I see Haley making her way over to me, so I set the fork down on the plate and quickly wipe my mouth with the napkin, "I'm sorry" I blurt out as she takes a seat across from me.

She takes my fork and digs into the pie, "its ok" she says before she shoves the bite into her mouth.

I laugh as Haley makes the same face I made moments ago, "so good" she mumbles as she covers her mouth.

It really isn't though. Ok the pie is really, really good but me snapping at Haley because she's worried about me isn't. "But it isn't" she looks at me in confusion, "me snapping at you Haley, it's not right."

She looks at me sympathetically, "Brooke, it's really…"

I cut her off, "no its not! You've been there for me through everything" tears well up in my eyes, "you were there for me when my parents died even though I did everything I could to push you away. You even forgave me when I stopped hanging out with _them_, considering all the stuff I pulled during that time. You were there for me when I found out, and you're still here for me!"

Tears fall down Haley's face by the time I finish my little speech. "That's because I love you Tigger" she wipes at her tears, "no matter what happens, I will always be here for you, there's nothing you can do to change that."

Haley is the best person I know. She's forgiving; and no matter how much shit a person might pull, she'll look past it and will always find the good in that person. That's just who she is.

"You shouldn't forgive me" I add, to give her one last chance to be mad at me.

Being typical Haley, she chuckles as she moves the pie over to her, "I know…I guess me taking this pie makes us even then."

She did not just take my apple pie!

I kink my eyebrow at her, "shouldn't you get back to work?"

"Nope. When Karen saw you come in she said I can have a 10 minute break…so here I am eating this _delicious _pie" Haley teases with a full mouth.

I look at her in mock disgust, "didn't anyone ever tell you that it was impolite to talk with your mouth full?"

Haley starts to laugh, "says the person that always does it." I take this moment as my chance to get the pie back but her hand slaps my hand away before I can reach it.

"Owww" I say rubbing my hand.

"Get your own pie" she shields the pie from me.

"That _was_ my pie."

Haley eagerly puts the last bite in her mouth "not no more" she replies, taking the plate to the back.

I stare after her in shock. Haley's never done that before but then again it shouldn't be surprising considering it is Karen's famous apple pie.

When I go to take a drink of water I see Peyton and Rachel enter the café with Tim following in their tracks. I can't help but be happy that Haley's in the back at the moment, that is until they sit in Haley's section, and I curse them for being such bitches. I know they sat there to give Haley shit, and it really pisses me off.

Ever since I can remember they have always given Haley and I a hard time, when I joined their group junior year though I made sure that she stayed off their radar, she was not to be messed with or they had to deal with me (even though they still have to now); but as soon as I left the group, they've made Haley's life a living hell. Always criticizing the way she walks, what she wears, how she does her hair, how she talks, just anything and everything about her.

Which is actually really funny considering Haley has better style then them anyways and if you add in the fact that she's an all around better person then they are or will ever be, then it's a no brainer when you realize who should be criticized.

I suddenly don't feel so good so I grab my purse as I make my way to the bathroom. I don't understand I thought this was all suppose to go away…apparently not. I walk out of the stall and go over to the sink and take out a tooth brush and tooth paste; luckily I'm so used to this by now, I carry them in my purse now as a safety hazard. After I finish I put my hands under the running water and splash it onto my face. It makes me feel a little less disgusted with myself after the deed I just did.

I look into the mirror and try to fix my appearance…if Haley saw anything out of whack with me, there would surely be a lot of her over protectiveness that I'm not in the mood for, and there's also the fact that I don't want her to get worried either; especially when there's nothing to worry about!

The sight I see when I walk out of the bathroom makes my blood boil. Rachel's hassling Haley, and before I know what I'm doing I've grabbed a strawberry milkshake off a tray, and I've made my way over to Rachel. I lean over the table and spill it as slowly as I possibly can down her dolce and gabbana silk blouse. Her face turns different shades of red, "sorry, I must have tripped" I say sharply as I stare daggers at her.

It takes every fiber in my body to not continue by punching her in the face but I know Haley and Karen would be disappointed in me, so I get up, make my way back over to my booth, sit down, push my hair out of my face, and start sipping from my water…in hopes it will help settle my nerves.

I look up to see if Rachel is going to retaliate, but instead I catch something completely different…Lucas Scott staring at me. I furry my brow in thought, why is he looking at me like that? It's not the usual I want to get in your pants stare that I usually get; its one that says he wants to get to know me.

I get butterflies in my stomach, and my skin starts to tingle. I've always held feelings towards Lucas, even though I like to deny it.

Haley's always known about these feelings. In the beginning she made fun of me for it, and now she tries to help me as best she can to get past them.

Haley's always been able to tell when I'm lying, so when I try to tell her that those feelings went away towards him in 9th grade when he told the school that if they came within 10 feet of us they would get lice, is no exception. Trust me everything he did to us made me hate him, it made me despise him…in the end I ended up hating myself more. Cause no matter what he did no matter how angry he made me, my feelings for him never seemed to go away.

He starts to move towards me. What the hell is he doing?!

I look back towards Rachel, Peyton, Nathan, and Tim to get the explanation for why he is walking towards me. I see Rachel with a wicked smirk; Peyton glares at me; Nathan winks at me…and Tim's playing dolls with the salt and pepper shakers? They were no help.

I can't be nice to him he doesn't deserve my kindness, so doing the only thing I can think of to make myself angry I open up my notebook and start writing about what Rachel did to Haley. Writing down what happened helps bring back the anger full force.

"Hey" I try to ignore the way my heart beats faster when he speaks. I act as if he is not there until I sense him trying to read what I am writing. I slam my notebook shut, and glare at him. When I notice that his hand is on the back of my seat I turn my head to look "are you lost?" I bite out and snap my eyes back towards him "the men's bathroom is five meters to your right" I add on.

The longer he stands there, the harder it is to keep up this wall.

"I know exactly where I am" he says smoothly. He thinks all he has to do is say one word to me and I'll be putty in his hands like most girls, if only he knew how wrong and right he was.

You would think that the fact of my ignoring him would make him realize that I wanted him to get lost, he doesn't seem to get the picture though.

I wonder if he can hear how my heart beats even faster as he moves closer to me? "Hi I'm Lu-"

"Lucas Scott" I cut in, trying to sound as if I don't care. "I know" I scoff. If only he knew how much I didn't want to know.

He squints his eyes in thought, "we know each other?" he asks.

I guess I got my answer for why he's over here talking to me…he doesn't remember me or else he wouldn't be here. I want to laugh, instead I just settle with a tiny smile "We only just went to the same school for…oh…ten or so years."

Lucas chuckles, "well you know big school, I'm sorry our paths never crossed I wouldn't forget a smile like yours."

If only he remembered how well we really did know each other. I kink my eyebrow "I sat in front of you the entire sixth grade."

"Oh" it takes him about fifteen seconds to come up with something to say, "that was so long ago."

Apparently he thinks I'm stupid or else he wouldn't be spinning this crap. I kink my eyebrow higher, "two months, sophomore year, English project, ring any bells? No, because Lucas Scott you and your no good group never bother to notice anyone but yourselves, you're heads are so far up your asses I'm surprised you know left from right but let me help you out – your table is thatta way where Dim is fornicating with the salt and pepper shakers" I look back down at my notebook.

Lucas finally takes the hint and starts to make his way back over to his group; I try to ignore the pain I feel in my chest.

I look up and see Haley looking at me with concern in her eyes, "Brooke, are you ok?"

I want to say yes, I want to lie to her, but she'll see right through my lies, so I settle with the truth "no…no I'm not" I drop my head into my hands.

As much as I would I love for him to hold feelings toward me; as much as I want to let my feelings be known…it won't and can't happen.


	2. Ch 1: The Person I Wasn't Raised to be

**disclaimer: we do not own any rights to One Tree Hill and this is all for fun, but if we did the show would have turned out a lot differently.**

hey everyone this is D, and as you already know it has taken almost 4 months for us to update this fanfic. as for why it took so long is all my fault, for some reason I could not find the time or inspiration to write my part of this chapter, so I will say now how sorry I am for that, and how none of this is Mickei's fault! on another note we would like to thank all of the readers that story alerted, added to favorites, and especially left reviews…it really meant a lot to know that you guys are enjoying this story. so anyways we hope you enjoy this chapter and don't forget to leave a review!

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**That's When It All Changed**

Chapter 1: The Person I Wasn't Raised to be

_There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or give up? There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment who will you be? Will you let down your defenses and find solace in someone unexpected? Will you reach out? Will you face your greatest fears bravely or move forward with faith? Or will you succumb to the darkness in your soul?_

_-One Tree Hill_

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_**Brooke**_

_This can't be happening…not again._

_I clamp my eyes shut, and start to whisper to my self, "It's just a dream. It's just a dream" over and over again. Praying with all my might that what's about to happen won't. That I'll wake up, and never have this nightmare again; in fact never even remember the nightmare, like it never even existed in the first place._

_But when I open my eyes, I still come face to face with the same scene like all those other nights._

_The house I grew up in._

_And that's when I see it. My parents running out of the house to their car frantically. _

"_Mom? Dad?" I whisper._

_They start driving, and I know what's coming next, so I start running after them._

"_Stop!" I scream. The faster I try to run, the slower I go, "Please, stop! Don't…" my sentence gets cut off by a car crashing into theirs, "NOOOO!"_

_I fall to the ground, bury my head into my hands, and start crying uncontrollably. I can't breathe, my worlds falling apart, and I don't know what to do. What do I do?_

"_Its your fault" I look up and see Peyton. I wipe at my tears and shake my head. _

_It's not…it can't be. They wouldn't want me to think that. I know they wouldn't want me to think that._

"_Its your fault" I hear Rachel say._

"_Its your fault" Nathan says as I turn to look at him._

"_Its your fault" Haley looks at me with resentment in her eyes._

_I start to shake my head more vigorously. Why would Haley say that? I don't care what the rest of them say, but she's my best friend she's suppose to be comforting me, supporting me…not blaming me like everyone else._

"_Its your fault" Lucas bites out, "are you happy? Do you see what you did?"_

_For some reason, this is the one that cuts the deepest. I didn't want to believe it, but they're right, I know that they are._

"I KNOOOOWWWW!" I shoot up in bed, screaming at the top of my lungs.

The tears start to roll down my face in a steady stream, "It was my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault" I say over and over again.

Haley storms into my room and takes me into her arms, "shhhhh" she rubs my back, "Brooke you need to calm d-"

"Its my fault" I blubber into her shoulder, cutting her off.

She knows what I'm talking about, cause this isn't the first time I've had this dream. Than again it is the first time that they were all in it, which makes it even worse.

Haley keeps on saying comforting words to me. Trying to calm me down. It usually works to the point where I'll at least be able to stop the crying, and make her believe that I'm ok, basically put on a façade.

This time, its not.

I just keep flashing back to that car crashing into my parents. The crash that I caused. I am finally going to take responsibility for that.

I should feel better now, right? I should feel like a weight was finally being lifted off of my shoulders?

Instead, I feel the complete opposite.

I feel like a failure, disappointment, and worst of all…a fake. I guess that's probably why I can't stop the tears that are free falling down my face.

At some point, an hour maybe two, Haley gives me a sedative to calm me down.

I know what your thinking this girl must be completely unhinged if she has to take prescribed medicine to calm her down; I probably would too if I were you. But the moment your not able to calm yourself down, no matter what you do to try and stop. You realize that there's no other option out there for you, really.

You could say it was the sedative that made me finally fall into a soundless slumber. From personal experience, I would say it's from the overwhelming exhaustion I felt.

* * *

As I open my eyes, the event from last night comes flooding back to me. "Ugghhh" I can't help but grown. Knowing that I will have to go through a full blown conversation with Haley about this.

I hate talking about my feelings. I hate being vulnerable. That's why I have my notebook. So I don't have to feel those things. Well, at least around people.

That's why my notebooks my safe haven; it can't criticize me, it can't ask me why I feel the way I do, and most importantly it can't _judge_ me.

And before I've comprehended what I'm doing, I've taken out my notebook and started to write. Words flowing from my fingers, to the pen, to the paper. Endless.

I bet now your probably wondering why I write in pen and not pencil. Pencil. You probably use it so you can erase the mistakes you make in your writing. To make it all dandy. Perfect. If I was that type of person I probably would too. Personally, I like the little mistakes, the imperfections. I guess you could say that's what makes me…me. I'm not perfect. _Far_ from it. And I like that to reflect in my writing. Because by writing in ink, something that can't be erased…makes it so those little mistakes, the imperfections stay there forever.

When I've finally finished thinking that, I realize I've actually wrote it down in here. I guess its staying, cause there's no way I can erase it.

Now what I write definitely isn't going to make any sense, but I continue anyways.

Do you ever feel like everything you do, everything you say, every choice you ever make, everything you ever feel, is never good enough? That no matter what you ever do, say, choose, or feel, is never right? Well if so, I guess you could say me and you are one in the same.

For the past few years those have been my exact thoughts. Like I'm not pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough, strong enough, don't give enough, everything and anything. I'm just _NOT_ enough.

I sometimes felt that way growing up, but living with two parents who I knew loved me, made those insecurities disappear somewhat; they never did fully go away though. They were just buried somewhere deep inside. And the day my parents died those feelings weren't lost, because they came full force when I knew I would never hear my parents voices, never see their big smiles, never get a giant bear hug from my dad when I needed a pick me up, never help my mom with dinner because she wanted to spend some quality time with her only daughter. Never. Again.

When I first felt those things I didn't know what to do. So what else could I do but lose control?

I rebelled. I hated them. They left me all alone, so they needed to pay. And that's just what I did. I made them pay. What I didn't realize at the time was that I wasn't making them pay, I was actually making myself pay.

I barely ate, and when I did it was mainly junk food. I lost my best friend, but gained new out of control ones. I had countless one nightstands, to try and ease my pain. And I hurt people, just to see someone _else_ in pain.

In the beginning I knew I would lose the few people I had left. The only problem that I faced about that was that I didn't care. I wanted to lose control. I wanted to feel numb. I didn't want to feel a single thing.

I didn't finally start to care about what I was doing, until I saw how much I was _hurting_ the people that loved me. I wasn't the person that my parents raised. Instead, I became their worst nightmare.

At that point I knew I wasn't the same girl that I was raised to be. That girl was long gone. But I could try, at least, to become a good person again.

When I finally look up from my notebook. I see that on my alarm clock, the red numbers display that it's 10:15 a.m..

So I haphazardly shut my notebook and place it on my nightstand. And than rush to get some clothes and get into the shower.

* * *

As I sit at the counter, stuffing my face with food. I can't help but feel happy. This is one of the only places I can actually be _happy_.

When I set my fork down on the counter, I finally ask Karen and Haley the question I've been longing to know their answer to for the past three days, "What did you guys think?"

Every week before I go to the hospital to volunteer at the cancer unit, we always talk about the Supernatural episode that was on three nights previously. This is the only time, and only day that we can have this annual talk. The talk that I long for for three days after the episode comes on.

Haley gives me a pointed look as if saying at some point we will talk about my outburst last night, as she sets down her tray, "I couldn't believe that after Dean brought Sam back to life, he was so heartless when he killed Jake."

When her and Karen see the look on my face, Karen laughs, and Haley rolls her eyes, "come on Brooke, can you honestly tell me that you didn't think that wasn't heartless?" I open my mouth to respond, when she starts talking before I voice how ridiculous she sounds, "And don't you dare say that it wasn't heartless, cause you, Karen, and I all know that it was. It wasn't in Sam's character-" Haley stops, but holds up her hand to tell me that she's not finished, "-maybe…when Dean brought Sam back, it wasn't only Sam that was brought back, like yellow-eyes said."

I look at her in astonishment. How nuts can my cousin truly be? When I open my mouth to respond, again someone stops me, "I think the demon was only saying that to get under Dean's skin, to make him second guess what he did."

I smile triumphantly in Haley's direction, "at least Karen isn't nuts like you are."

"Ha ha, very funny."

"Well I thought so" I grin, earning a chuckle from Karen, "On a more serious note, when I saw Dean crying, and pour his soul out to Sam's corpse, I couldn't help but start balling" I look around at them and add on in all seriousness, "_my_ Dean should not be in pain and cry, it breaks my heart" I pout.

At that Karen and Haley start to burst out laughing "awwww…I think our Brooke's in love" Haley turns to Karen.

"How could I not be? Have you not seen what Dean _looks_ like, he is ridiculously gorgeous" I look at them exasperatedly, "I mean the things I would do to that man, if we were in the same room."

At that they both stop laughing, "you guys can't tell me you don't think the same?" I kink an eyebrow.

Karen holds her hands up in the air defensively "I relent. Dean and Sam are both very good looking."

I smirk as Haley sighs, "okay, maybe, they are both hot, even though Sam would be more my type. But that's all besides the point, Brooke. The things that come out of your mouth sometimes are just to over the top. Things I would really rather not know, and I'm pretty sure that goes for Karen too."

"Haley you know you were thinking the same thing about Sam" she groans, as I laugh.

"I was not!" she states forcefully.

"Loosen up, cuz. I was only joking" I wave her off, trying to hide my smile.

Haley quickly grabs her tray, "I will say that you and Dean would look great together though" and then she walks off without a backwards glance.

I turn back towards the counter, and see Karen's knowing smile as she looks down at me "What?" I question as I pop one last fry into my mouth.

Karen reply's "nothing" before I say goodbye to her, and head on my way to the hospital.

_**Lucas**_

For as long as I can remember there has been one place I can escape to and not be found by anyone but my mother, the river court is the fist place anyone would go to find me so it is the last place I go when I am in hiding.

When I was a boy the roof of the café was my personal playground, now I lay sprawled on the warm concrete enjoying the peaceful solitude as the rest of Tree Hill moves around me. The sound of the bell downstairs, the soft laughter, the chatter and shifting chairs, it blends with the traffic, the people of the street moving around, the Sorgiovanni's arguing in the florist across the road, it all blends together. With my eyes shut I can just let it all fade away, the sounds start to become quieter until they're just a buzzing in the back of my mind.

It is just me; the roof and the joint Rachel had given me last night. A little extra pick me up is more the others thing than mine, a habit they'd picked up while I was away. Rachel's poison was anything she could get her hands on from alcohol to heroin, Peyton preferred doing lines of cocaine in the back of a club while Nathan went for the classic amphetamines. They weren't junkies though Rachel's wild behaviour and Peyton's answer to her _woe is me_ attitude did sometimes worry me, which is why I stay away from shit like this. Usually.

With another DUI and my hearing today I just need something to help me relax and get through the next few hours and the inevitable lecture my mother will give me. I've been waiting for it, ever since she found out that Nathan bailed me out. I have been tiptoeing around her, wincing every time it looked like she was about to open her mouth, the waiting made it that much worse. It never happened. Mom has been eerily silent, her eyes barely reaching mine, and the lecture I feared still hung over my head unspoken, you would think I would be relieved however it scares me. If she yelled she was telling me she cared, but this… this indifference I was unprepared for, I don't know how to let her know I'm sorry when she hasn't told me I was wrong yet.

It's going to come though, eventually Mom is going to explode, she has to, right? This is the woman who sent me to live with my uncle when nothing else worked, who gave all of my belongings to charity when I started taking them for granted, who gave me a three hour lecture when she found a condom amongst my dirty clothing and then made me tour the maternity ward. Let's just say I don't plan to be a father in… oh, let's say... the next millennium.

Karen Roe lectures, she is the mother of all mother talks and has the mom look down to an art. So it's coming, soon, I can tell, hence the joint.

By the time I take the stairs down to the café I am ready to face the day, from my mother to the judge. My feet hit the bottom floor and I turn the corner, "…would look great together though" a voice drifts towards me.

Haley almost bumps into me, her eyes widen when she recognizes me, and shock, fear and shyness pass over her face, followed by barely veiled disgust.

I try to be polite, "Sorry" but she just stops mid-glare and walks off ignoring me. Whatever, I don't need her approval.

When I walk into the main part of the café my mother has a secret smile on her face, her eyes are on the door where a flash of brunette hair is fast disappearing, "is that-?" I start, my thumb motioning in doors direction, and then my mother's attention snaps to me.

The smile fell, her eyes glazed over, my mother turns her back on me and says with little emotion, "don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Can't we talk?"

She sighs, "I don't know Lucas, is there any point to it?"

And that is when I realise that the lecture I have been expecting, fearing, bracing myself for, it isn't coming. A defeated woman stands before me, one who'd been blissfully happy before I interrupted her, one who has somewhere along the way given up on me.

So I say nothing, I nod and leave the one constant I've always had.

* * *

It doesn't mean anything, the quick sentence, the words the judge throw at me, it all means nothing, I could be anyone, when they look at me, list my crimes and then hand down the punishment, they aren't looking at_ me_, Lucas Scott, they are looking at a statistic, a piece of paper, the victims I never had but what could have been.

My lawyer says I am lucky, pay the fine and do the community service, but we all know the only reason I got off so lightly is because of the man standing at the back of the room.

Dan Scott, the biological father, the one who ignored me for over half my life and then decided the best way to get into my life would be to control it. For years he has breathed down my neck, judging my successes, poking at my failures and pressing at every decision I make.

If I wasn't surrounded by witnesses and cops I would wipe that smirk off his face, this is just another way for him to remind me that I owe him, another thing he can hold over my head. Fuck him, I would prefer jail time than to be in his debt, morally anyway, I'll accept his toys, his gifts and money, I will take what he gives me and still stare right through him as I do now.

_You are not my father._

Still he smirks, gives me a nod and as I walk by him he pats my shoulder, two solid hits before his hand is gone, and I let out a breath. No matter what he thinks I am not under his control and I never will be.

When he wants me to be grateful I will be bitter, when he wants me to stay I will run, when he touches me I will move out of reach, if he wants me to be a star I will fade into the shadows and when he wants me to disappear I will be there rubbing my existence in.

I am not who I want to be, I am everything he doesn't want me to be, if he insists in showing me off as his son then I will not be a trophy worthy of praise.

And then, as I walk down the court steps, with Dan's eyes still burning a hole into my back, my mothers face appears in my mind. Defeated.

"You lucky son of a bitch!" Rachel's voice breaks my thoughts and suddenly she's hanging off my back, clinging to my neck, her wide smile infectious. I smile back and hold her on more securely until she slips around and just stands next to me, her arm still resting around my neck.

Nathan and Peyton walk up to us, my brother wearing his usual cocky smile, "well, well, you get off _Scott _free again" he says and Peyton rolls her eyes, she's hugging herself and sending me a pretty unimpressed look.

"Ew, I wouldn't call community service nothing" Rachel shivered, "what is it this time, garbage by the road? Gardening? Those orange jumpsuits are _sooo _not your colour"

Flagged by my friends I grimace, "some cancer thing with kids"

"Sick people, even worse" Rachel ruffles my hair and I sling my arm over her shoulder, my gaze meets Nathan and he has a strange look on his face though he says nothing, next to him Peyton has turned her back on us and started walking away. I don't question it, I've long given up trying to read Peyton's mind. On the surface we always were alike, deep down we have little in common.

Nathan is still looking at me peculiarly, "you alright, man?" I ask and he shakes his head out if his thoughts, Nathan smiles "yeah, sure, just thinking. Like Rachel said-" he grins at the redhead before adding mockingly "-_ew, sick people_" and we fall back into our carefree laughter.

It is comforting to know that they are here for me, no matter how many years pass by, no matter the choices we make, we have each other's back. Tennessee Williams once wrote; _when so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone._


	3. Ch 2: In Walks You

**Disclaimer: Yeah, you might have guessed, we don't own anything, not One Tree Hill or it's characters.**

Please read and review, hope you enjoy this and thanks to all those who have reviewed, alerted, favourited this story.

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**That's When It All Changed**

Chapter 2: In Walks You

_Did you ever look at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background? It makes you wonder how many people have pictures of you, how many moments of other people's lives we've been in. Were we part of someone's life when their dream came true, or were we there when their dreams died? Did we keep trying to get in, as if we were somehow destined to be there? Or did the shot take us by surprise? Just think, you could be a big part of someone else's life, and not even know it..._

_~One Tree Hill_

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**_Lucas _**

From the moment I set eyes on the place I know I don't belong, that feeling increases once I am inside. The Fulham Medical Centre for Children is a branch of Tree Hill Memorial Hospital for the treatment and recovery of children and teenagers battling cancer, all in all the place is depressing. Sickness and death haunts the overly cheery halls, not even the brightest colours and pages of artwork scattered around can hide the pain and sadness on the faces of the patients as I walk the halls.

They look tired, even the ones with big smiles look completely exhausted, and being here makes me feel guilty. I thought having an asshole of a father was hard; at least I had a childhood.

"What am I meant to do?" I ask the receptionist who is leading me, when all I want to ask is _why the hell would they let someone like me near these children_. What can I do but make it even worse?

"You're supervisor will explain everything but don't worry, you're main job is just to keep the kids occupied and happy. Some of them are on bed rest, all they need is someone to talk to, maybe read them stories, stuff like that. Some of them are well enough to play some games and we need supervises for group activities-" she… uh, Yasmine… stops and turns around before adding, "-can you use a play station?"

"Uh… yeah"

She nods and smiles, "then you'll do fine" and straight away she starts walking again, it's another moment before I follow and I have to stretch my legs further to catch up.

She's talking but I barely hear her, my focus is on my surroundings with each room we pass.

"At lunch the volunteers deliver the meals but your supervisor will show you the way, everyone who starts here is paired with another volunteer who has been here longer, in your situation the pairing will be permanent until your time here is up. Any questions?" and again she stops, I nearly barrel into her.

I shake my head.

"Good. I'll just introduce you to Brooke, your volunteer, she's been in and out of here for years and knows the place well" and she knocks on a door before popping her head in. Their voices are muffles and then I hear my name and the door opens wider, "come on in" Yasmine says and promptly abandons me.

And when I see her perched on the hospital bed everything else fades away, I can't believe it. _She _is here, the girl who turned me down, and in the split second before she recognises me I see her smile. That full dimpled grin that can light up a room, the picture Peyton drew didn't do it justice, it didn't show the way it reaches her eyes and made them sparkle, or the joy that radiated from it like sunshine. Though the moment everything connects in her mind the grin quickly fades and I'm left with the sullen girl who dumped a milkshake in Rachel's lap.

"_You_" she hisses.

Acting nonchalant I shrug one shoulder, "me"

She snickers, "community service, should have guessed. What did you do, DUI? Possession?" she clicks her fingers "I got it, a crime against fashion" and her eyes go up and down my body. A shiver racks me, I feel the way she looks at me almost in disgust but there's something else there I can't place.

I try not to be self-conscious but I can't help but give my outfit the once over, "my mom got me this shirt" I lie.

As if she knows it bullshit her brow kinks up.

From the bed a voice pipes up "would you like me to leave the room, give you two some privacy?"

"DEVON" Brooke gasps and I laugh as she blushes, her face getting redder and redder, "don't insult me with the thought"

Devon puts down his notebook and pen and I study him as the two start going back and forth with friendly banter. My guess is thirteen; he's skinny, _too _skinny, with pale dusky skin, his olive tone an unhealthy shade closer to yellow with red rimmed eyes the colour of mahogany that were the largest feature on his face, and a black beanie with a red D stitched on it placed atop his head.

"… You gonna introduce me to your friend?" Devon asks Brooke and she huffs but gives a grumbled, "Devon meet Lucas Scott, Lucas this is Devon Ackles"

"Just the coolest kid here" the boy tugged at his shirt and gave Brooke the nod, in the minute I've seen them together I know the child has her wrapped around his finger. Maybe I should get tips from him.

"Yeah, yeah, you keep telling yourself that, hot stuff"

"At least you admit I'm hot" Devon poked his tongue out.

The urge to join in makes me speak, "would you two like me to give you some alone time," I repeat Devon's earlier sentiment.

Not skipping a beat Brooke glares at me, "yes" while at the exact same time Devon chuckles and says "no"

Looking from one to the other Brooke wiggles her finger between us, "how bout you two stay here and I go" she gets up and says quickly "be back in a sec"

Unable to stop myself I follow her, everything inside me says back away, to not risk her sharp tongue again but there is this other part of me that just wants to get closer and at the moment that is the part winning.

Digging my hands in my pockets I jog to catch up to her, "so… what are you doing here?"

"I volunteer, it's called being a decent human being, look it up" she doesn't bother to look at me as she walks faster and faster to the front desk, skirting around it with a smile to Yasmine, Brooke knocks on the office door and walks straight in.

From where I stand I can hear everything she says, or at least every few words and it's enough to know she wants me away from her. If I had the ego she thinks I have it's severely dented now.

Yasmine sends me a pitying look but continues to file paperwork, with my hands still in my pockets I quickly return to Devon's room.

Once again the boy is writing in his notebook, hesitant I walk over to him and wait by the bed, I feel awkward and _large _in this room.

"You can sit, if you like, cancer isn't contagious promise" he says offhand never once looking at me but I feel like his eyes are on me. Though I'm sure I haven't done anything wrong I still apologise before sitting.

After a few minutes, or what feels like it, the silence starts to grate, "whatya doing?"

"Writing" he shrugs, and I just continue to stare at him. Like duh, got that. He sighs and looks at me "it's something they get us to do, to help 'deal' with what is happening to us" and he adds the air apostrophes with it.

"Doesn't help?"

And Devon kinks his brow, "kinda like an unneeded reminder" but then he shrugs "sometimes it's good, I guess… so you know Brooke?"

"Not really" unless you count a few years of bullying that we put her through, god knows what the others did to her and Haley after I left, whatever they did and what I did she sure as hell remembers. Changing the subject away from me I ask casually though inside I'm waiting impatiently to hear more news, "how long you known her for?"

"A year I guess, she comes in all the time, everybody loves Brooke, and she's not like the others"

"Why?"

Again he shrugs, "dunno, she's real good and understanding and shit" which I would appreciate if I thought I could get her to ever willingly listen to me.

As if thinking of her conjured her, Brooke breezes into the room, her face still pinker than usual "arghh, of all the…" she stops when she sees me and places her hands on her hips, "I'm stuck with you but I want you to get one thing straight, this - you and me - isn't fun, we are not friends, I don't want to hear about your day, or what party you went to and who you-" she looks at Devon and lowers her voice "s-c-r-e-w-e-d at it-"

"I'm fourteen, I can spell" Devon rolls his eyes.

Holding up her hand Brooke shushed Devon, "so not the point right now"

"Brooke, look I don't know what you know about me-" I begin but she cuts me off, getting close her nose almost touches my chest "I know what everyone in this town knows. I'm not like the other girls, so your moves aren't going to work, try anything like that time at the café and Rachel won't be the only one to have an unexpected accident, get me?"

"Clear as crystal"

"The less you talk, the more we'll get along" she pats my cheek and then smiles, its small but it's the first genuine one she's given me. So I smile back.

Looks like community service isn't going to suck as much as I thought.

**_Brooke_**

Was this some kind of cruel joke? Some twisted karmic way to get back at me for all the horribly things I've done in my life?

When I first heard that I would be supervising someone that was doing community service, the last person I ever expected I would see was Lucas. I was expecting some misguided teen that was just trying to seek attention. Instead I got him. Someone that doesn't care what they do or don't do as long as the outcome serves themselves in the end.

So far, despite my warnings, Lucas' main pleasure is bugging me. He finds it funny to get on my nerves, and unfortunately he has brought Devon to the dark side with him.

"Time for lunch" I usher Lucas to follow me.

He eagerly stands up, "finally, I'm starving."

"Not for you dumb ass, for the patients." I roll my eyes. "When we get down to the cafeteria, there will be a cart for you with trays on them. Each tray will have the room number that it's suppose to go to. After your carts empty, take it back down to the cafeteria and if I'm not already there, wait until I am. This should even be easy enough for you."

Lucas chuckles, "I'm not so sure about that. Who knows I might just give the wrong tray to the wrong room or worse get lost. I think my supervisor should accompany me, ya know, so I don't mess anything up" I glare at him, "it is my first day after all."

Do you see what I mean by bugging the living daylights out of me? He gets some kind of sick pleasure from it.

I muster the fakest smile I can give, "of course…" I see his cocky grin widen, when I place a hand on each shoulder as I lean up to whisper in his ear, "…when hell freezes over" and I realize I am having extreme difficulty removing myself from him, when I finally do I leave him there standing motionless.

Take that Mr. Big shot. 1 Brooke…wait…damn it, 6 Lucas.

Why does he have to be such a cocky jerk? Why can't he just be a decent human being? Someone that cares about someone other then himself.

After I first saw him enter Devon's room, I finally realized that he had this strange hold over me. Like when he enters a room, its like everything and everyone else disappears, like its just me and him. I knew I couldn't put my self into that kind of situation again. So I went to try and see if some other poor schmuck could take him off my hands. Jeff, the director for all the volunteers, said that there was nothing he could do, I was stuck with him, so I should try and make the best of my circumstances. When I tried to object he wouldn't hear it, instead he sent me off. I usually like Jeff, he's a good friend, after this, I'm not so sure.

Once I arrive in the cafeteria, I see Lucas sitting at one of the tables smugly. If only I could wipe that annoying smirk off his damn face, but instead I decide to suppress the urge and make my back up to Devon's room with Lucas close on my heels.

"Devon why haven't you eaten any of your food?" I point over to his untouched tray.

"I'm not hungry" he says flatly, "hey, Luke" I grimace at the friendly nickname.

Lucas gives a head nod in greeting, while I go over, pick up Devon's tray and put it in front of him, "I don't care if your hungry or not, you have to at least try to eat."

Devon smirks, "sorry Brooke, no can do…I think I would like to go and play some play station though" he looks over at Lucas, "Luke you game?"

Lucas hesitates, "yea, why not."

"Well I don't care if Lucas is 'game' or not, you are not leaving this room until you at least try and eat."

When he places his hand on my shoulder I recoil at his touch, "Brooke ease up. If he doesn't want to eat, he doesn't have to e-"

I push him off of me, "That is exactly why you are a self centered asshole!" I poke at his chest, pushing him towards the wall, "It doesn't matter if he doesn't want to eat, if he's lost his appetite, if right after or while he's eating he's going to vomit it right up. What your doing is telling him to give up, not to try. And that Lucas Scott is the exact reason why I can't stand you. You don't care about the outcome of your actions. That your mom cried on my shoulder, cause she didn't know how to get through to you anymore. You don't care about anyone but your fucking self!"

When I finally finish my little rant, I look over at Devon and see the shock and fear covering his face.

Oh My God, what did I just do?

I try to hold back the tears that want to come spilling out of my eyes, "I'm soo sorry…so sorry" desperately I make my way out of the room as fast as I can.

After I finally get outside, I make my way over to my favorite picnic table at the hospital and bury my head into my arms.

What was that?

He probably hates me now, both of them probably do.

"Is this seat taken?" I tense when I hear his voice. I look up and see electric ocean blues staring down at me.

He stands there awkwardly, with his hands shoved into his pockets awaiting my answer, "What do you want?" I ask nervously.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Instead of prodding me with questions about what was that, Lucas just sits beside me in complete silence. Brooding. He's Broody, I can't help but find that I like that quality about him.

After a few more minutes of sitting in silence, I start to speak, keeping my head down, "I really am sorry. Wh-" I take in a heavy breath, as he puts his hand underneath my chin and lifts my head up, so he can stare into my eyes. Ignoring the tingles he sends through my body, I continue, "-what I said…it wasn't right. If you don't forgive me, I'll completely understand." I try to remove my head from his hand, but with no avail his grip stays firm.

"Can you stop?" he asks rhetorically, staring at me intensely. When I finally register what he's about to do, my eyeballs nearly bulge out of there sockets, while he moves his face closer to mine.

My heart starts to beat uncontrollably and my breathing becomes erratic, "W-what are you doing?'

And before I know it, his lips touch mine.


	4. Ch 3: Fear

**disclaimer: we still don't own anything…**

Soo sorry for the long wait…unfortunately sometimes life gets in the way no matter how much you wish it doesn't. Anyway thank you everyone that reviewed, added to favorites or alerted the story! We hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and don't forget to review…

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**That's When It All Changed**

Chapter 3: Fear

_The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we're afraid. We fear we will not find love, and when we find it we fear we'll lose it…_

_~One Tree Hill_

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_**Brooke Flashback**_

_While growing up you get told all kinds of things: eat your vegetables, do your homework, clean your room, treat others the way you would like to be treated. Some things you don't get told: people aren't always who they say they are, sometimes people lie. Most of the time you learn those things in passing, from personal experience. I'm not so sure what category this falls under, but its one of those things that you hear about no matter what. Have you ever heard that before you die your life flashes before your eyes? That you get a really fast slide show flashing before your eyes before you take your final breath? Now imagine having a slideshow just like that, but going much slower and for much longer. That would probably be how your life is after someone you love dies. It's how my life is._

_You see all of the moments that you shared, and you realize you won't share any more moments or any more moments like that with that person._

_You never actually truly think about death until it happens to you. You think there's no way they will ever be gone: they'll be there when you graduate, when you get married, when you have kids. Until one day…their not._

_When that day comes you cry and cry and cry. And you think this is all a dream, you're going to wake up soon, and they'll be there. But when you finally do wake up you realize its not a dream, its your reality. A reality that you don't know how to live through anymore._

_When I first found out about my parent's deaths, I told my aunt that she was lying, that there was absolutely no way they could be gone. When deep inside I knew that she wasn't lying. And when I finally let myself believe it, I cried. _

_By the day of their funeral, everything that happened in that week was a blur, the last thing I remembered was when my aunt called me. At that time I didn't cry anymore, it was like I wasn't even really there, but was still there in some kind of sense, if that makes sense. When it finally came to lowering the caskets into the ground, I was asked to say a few words. I looked around at all the tear streaked faces, and couldn't do it. I couldn't breathe. I ran. I ran as fast as I could until I came to my house. I couldn't be there, not the place where I last spoke to them, so I grabbed a few liquor bottles from my dads office, and left as fast as I could._

_Now, I drink. I don't want that slide show. I don't want to have to remember those moments. What I want is to share moments with them again. I want to go back to two weeks ago when I heard their laughs, saw their smiles, smelt their scents, felt their hugs._

_But I can't. I can't take back those last words I said to them. And with every single fiber in my being I wish I could. I wish they knew that I didn't mean them. I wish I could take them back._

_I take one swig, two swigs, three swigs, and before I know it I've drunk an entire bottle. The memories, the pain still remains. So I go for another bottle. I sweep my hand around where I set it down and don't feel it._

"_Looking for this?"_

_I look up and see blond curls looking down at me "give it back," I slur._

_The blond curls chuckle "it would be very irresponsible of me to give this to you."_

_If this happened two weeks ago I would have put up a fight until the blond curls gave me back the bottle. But its not two weeks ago. It's now. And in all honesty, I don't have the strength or will to get that bottle back, nor do I care anymore at this point._

_Instead of reaching for the bottle like blond curls expects me to, I start to push myself shakily up off the side of the bridge "keep it."_

_As I feel myself start to crumble and fall down to the ground, blond curls catches me before I do "if your looking to get rid of what your feeling, I can help."_

_She starts to walk away, but then turns back towards me "are you coming?"_

_And before I'm even consciously aware of what I'm doing I start to follow her. Not realizing what I've just gotten myself into._

* * *

_**Lucas**_

There was something about her, the way her eyes would light up with emotion, the tinge in her cheeks that grew when she was flustered, even the swish of her hair every time she walked away from me. There are no words to describe her properly, the way she can look as equally vulnerable as she does strong. Brooke Davis is captivating and I cannot get her out of my mind.

From the moment I stepped into that Ravens jersey and the girls in Tree Hill first noticed me, I have been able to point my finger at any girl and have her fall at my feet. Nathan and I were a tag team, invisible. Brooke though looks at me and I don't know, sees right through me and looks away. It just makes me want to get closer, to force her to really look at me. To watch her try to catch her breath when I get closer and pretend I don't affect her. I know I do, I am just not sure if it's in a good way or a bad way. Whatever way it is I want to test those boundaries. And I want to kiss her again, to feel those lips move under mine, her gasp opening her up to everything I am. To taste her, devour her and lose myself in her.

Since I kissed her I keep going back to that moment, the surprise in her eyes as I got closer, her heart beating against mine as I pulled her to me, her mouth under mine n the hottest yet simplest kiss I've ever experienced, her face cupped in my hands. And the way she gasped before pulling away from me, more surprise in her eyes and a look of horror on her face. She was scared yet still I didn't expect her to slap me. A girl has never slapped me after a kiss before. I touch my cheek and smile.

"What's with the goofy grin?" Nathan asks and throws the basketball to my chest, I catch it easily and do my trademark fade away.

I shrug, "nothing" and Nathan accepts my answer as he takes the rebound and dribbles the ball down the court.

"Hey, what do you know about Brooke?"

Nathan stops, "Brooke?" he asks confused and I pretend it's nothing, the last thing I want is for Nathan to look too deeply on it so I keep my tone casual, "that chick from the café?"

"What's it to you?"

"She works at the clinic"

Nathan scores and then throws me the ball, a little harder this time and his voice turns defensive, "Peyton and her use to hang out… a bit, she's a bitch Lucas"

"She doesn't seem to like me"

"Or any of us" Nathan scoffs, "thinks she's all that now. Man, there was a time she was the party queen of Tree Hill, a damn Rachel in training, they say she's screwed the whole football team. A hypocrite, that's what she is and a fucking bitch"

Without thought my hands drop and the ball falls to the ground, rolling across the court as I go over what Nathan has shared. I cannot picture the Brooke he talks about with the Brooke I remember or now have to deal with. How much could have possibly changed while I was in Charleston?

I give a little laugh and try to act like I think it's funny when horrific is closer to the truth, "I can't believe you guys were friends with her"

"Can't believe it too" my little brother chuckles and picks up the ball again but I'm no longer interested in the game.

Nathan's easy in more ways than one, he's not the type of guy to ever look beneath the surface so when I tell him I have to meet my mom he takes it at face value and tells me to say hi for him.

"You don't mind?"

"Nuh, it's cool, man, I had to meet Katie at six anyway"

"You mean Kristy?"

"Whatever" he shrugs and leaves. He's unbelievable especially seeing six o'clock was over ten minutes ago. The sad thing is before living with Keith I'd done the same thing. The names never really matter when they are all the same, a quick fix, the groupie's who just want to get close to the Scott boys. Why should we treat them better when the truth is they are using us just as much, the only difference is they want to drag it on.

I could have sworn Brooke was different, there is just something heartbreakingly honest about her and I can't imagine her as one of _those _girls. She's nothing like Rachel - she's nothing like _us_. It's so refreshing, like a gulp of fresh air after nearly drowning.

There's only one person I can talk to, Keith answers on the third ring and not knowing where to start I start talking about the weekends game, it takes less than a minute before he cuts in, "Luke, son, who's the girl?

"What girl?"

"The girl who has you calling me" and he chuckles, I feel slightly insulted. Granted Keith is usually the one to call me but still… "Spit it out boy"

With a sigh I answer, "her name is Brooke and she hates me"

"Smart girl, huh, sounds like a keeper"

"She slapped me!"

"I'm liking her more and more"

"Thanks, Uncle Keith. I'm serious here, how do I spend time with her without it resorting to physical violence?"

There's silence for a while, I scratch the back of my head and wonder why I am talking to one of the two most important people in my life about Brooke. She is just some girl, a really hot, stubborn, confusing, crazy, aggravating… why am I even bothering.

"Here's something to think about" Keith says and I wait impatiently for his wisdom, a moment later it comes "have you tried being nice to her?"

"Yeah and failed, that's why she slapped me, she was upset so I did the whole kiss thing-"

"Wait, wait, you pulled the kiss on her, have I taught you nothing? Next time why don't you just ask her how her day was?"

I can just picture her response, _better until I saw you. _Followed by a dismissive smirk before she walked away.

"Something tells me that isn't going to work"

"Well use that famous Scott charm on her, open doors, pull out chairs, hell Lucas, smile at the girl and talk about her instead of you-"

"I don't do that"

"Really? So in the ten minutes we've been talking have you asked me how I am once?"

Uncle Keith has this ability to make me feel like I am a little boy again and he is scolding me because I didn't do what my mother asked me to. For as long as I can remember he's been there for me and he never stopped even after his brother decided he wanted to be part of my life. Dan might be my father but nothing will ever stop me thinking of Keith as my _real _dad. "Sorry, Keith, how you been?"

"I'm good, thank you. A simple question Lucas, have you ever asked your Brooke that?"

_Your Brooke_. My Brooke, I like the sound of that.

Next time I'll walk right up to her and ask her how she is, and if she doesn't throw something at me then it will have gone well.

"Thanks Uncle Keith"

"You're a good kid, Luke, don't be afraid to show it" and with that he hangs up. His last words remain longer than I would like. Am I afraid?

_**Brooke**_

There's this feeling you get when you realize that everything's going to change. The gut wrenching pull in your stomach that tells you nothing is ever going to be the same again. I got that exact feeling when Lucas kissed me. I'm scared. I don't know what the kiss meant. I'm not sure I even _want_ to know.

The only person that could possibly even come close to helping with this is one person and one person only. Haley James. That girl is my savior. I honestly have no idea what I would do without her. She's my rock.

After Lucas kissed me, I got out of there as fast as I could and made my way over to the café. For the past hour I've actually been in the corner booth trying to figure out how I'm going to tell Haley what happened. So far I've come up with nothing. Zilch. Nada, "damn it!"

I place two fingers to my lips. I could still feel his lips against mine. The way our lips connected together. The way his lips moved against mine. The way he held my face while we kissed.

"If I knew you were gonna act this way when I came over" he slides into the seat across from me, "I would have come over a lot sooner."

I quickly remove my fingers, and give him a sarcastic smile, "ha ha, very funny Jake."

I've know Jake for a little over two years now. I could honestly tell you he is one of the best guys I know. He's the kind of person that's there for you no matter what. A person that no matter what he's going through still finds the strength to make the best out of things, "how's Jenny?"

Jake's face instantly lights up at the mention of his daughter, "she's doing really good. She's a bit of a handful, she's at that age where she gets into everything" he chuckles, "she actually ate some of my shaving crème yesterday."

"Are you serious?" I laugh.

"Deadly."

It's always been easy between us. I can talk to Jake about nothing to everything, "so what's going on with you Davis? It looked like you were gonna punch a whole in the wall before I came over here."

I sigh, "Nothing."

Jake gives me a disbelieving look, "Don't give me that. We both know that something's bugging you in that pretty little head of yours."

I rest my elbow on the table and then place my chin into my hand, "Jake Jagelski are you flirting with me?"

"Trying to change the subject isn't going to work Davis." he smirks.

"Fine" I groan, "I…uhh…sort of kissed Lucas today."

His smirk quickly fades away, "as in Lucas Scott? Karen's son? Nathan Scott's brother? The guy th-"

"I get it ok" I glare at him, "it's unbelievable, I know. It just sort of…happened."

"Wow."

I expected more of a 'how did this happen?' or a 'I didn't even know you guys were friends' instead I get that? Is that seriously all he has to say? He can't come up with a better response then 'wow?'

"What's going on with you two?" Haley asks as she takes a seat next to Jake.

Jake turns to look at her, "other then Brooke making out with Lucas Scott, nothing."

I nearly fall out of my seat at what Jake says, I'm just gonna go die now, "is anyone else thirsty? I'm thirsty. I'm gonna go get something to dr-"

"Brooke Davis sit your ass down now!" she orders in that don't-even-think-about-it tone of hers.

I cower back into my seat. This should be interesting. I feel like I was just caught trying to steal a cookie from the cookie jar.

Haley stares at me as if waiting for me to tell her what happened.

"We didn't make out" I once again glare at Jake, "I, umm freaked out on him at the hospital, when I realized what happened I ran out of there, then he came looking for me, and after he found me, he…uhhh…he kissed me." I ramble out all in one breath.

"Wow."

I never realized until now how much I actually hate that word. It's like that word taunts me. It's an evil word and if I never hear it again I think it might be to soon.

If I thought it would make them feel any better I would tell them it wasn't like I sought out for the kiss. I didn't tell him to kiss me. He even surprised the hell out of me when he did it. I don't think me telling them that would help matters. When he did kiss me, it took everything I had to pull out of it. As soon as his lips touched mine, I felt something that I've never felt before. I'm not exactly sure what it was, but I know that I didn't _want_ to give that feeling up. I still don't want to give that feeling up.

"What happened after he kissed you?" Jake asks, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Well other then me slapping him across the face and then coming here," I shrug, "nothing really."

"Wait," Haley looks confused, "why was he at the hospital?"

"Do you remember me telling you that I was going to have to supervise someone that was going to do community service," Haley nods, "guess who that someone is?"

"No way."

"Yes way. So I'm gonna be stuck with him for three days a week, 5 hours a day."

How does it go one day from me never seeing him, never having to worry about seeing him; to seeing him everywhere I go?

Why can't things go back to the way they use to be? Why did things have to change? I hate change. I like everything staying one way and never changing. Change is just to…unpredictable. I'm afraid of change. I'm afraid of what it might bring and especially what it might take away.

"What are you going to do?" Haley asks concerned.

"I think I'm gonna move to Switzerland." I shrug.

Haley looks over at Jake, and they exchange this look. Before I know it Jake excuses himself and gets back to work.

"Don't look at me like that tutor girl. Everything's fine." I smile a dimpled smile, to try and prove that to her.

"Brooke you have to talk to me. I can't help if you don't talk to me" she rubs her eyes tirelessly.

"There's nothing to talk about. Promise." I stand up and grab my bag, "I'll see ya at home."

"Where are you going Brooke?"

"To the beach." I tell her before I make my way out of the café.

Fear. One word. Four letters. One syllable. At first glance its just another word. If you look deeper, you realize there's more then what meets the eye. Everyone's afraid of something whether it be of flying, clowns, or even vacuums. But what most people don't realize is that there's usually a reason behind that fear.

A reason that could keep you from living your life.


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